Today I had an appointment in Charleston. Daddy was at work unfortunately and I had class earlier today (which is why it was scheduled in Charleston) Daddy would've been there but we literally got a one day notice about this appointment. I decided to still go because I wanted see you again and be reassured you're doing alright. I didn't realize how awesome the appointment was going to be.
I got to hear your heart beat again! And if that wasn't exciting enough, the ultrasound session was incredible! I was so excited to see that you actually looked like a baby, the last ultrasound you looked like a lil jelly bean :) I think I may have actually shouted "Yay! Baby looks like a baby now!" .. and I teared up a lil. Your just so beautiful! Amidst all my excitement I just kept wish your Dad was there and feeling bad he had to miss this. The ultrasound lady kept referring to you as a "he" or "him" until I said I didn't know your sex yet and didn't wanna find out without my husband. She may have been saying that just to call you something besides "it" but I couldn't help but read into it. She was super nice though, and let me watch you on the screen for at least 30 minutes! I can't remember a time before when I felt so joyous and giddy. I was laughing and smiling so much that the screen kept getting jumbled because you would move when I did. I watched with all the enthusiasm and astonishment in the world. You we're moving! IN ME. I couldn't believe it. You id a lil jig when I laughed, like you were just dancing and busting a move in there, then you started sucking your thumb! It was perfect, YOU are perfect. I wish I was better at writing what I feel because I just can't express how happy I felt after this appointment, how happy you've made me. I needed that.
Here you are my love:
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Just like Momma ♥
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The past few weeks haven't been easy. Me and Daddy are still packing and moving. A bigger space for our new addition :) As silly as it sounds, I wish there were some way for us to keep this apartment the way it is, just to show you later. We've spent our entire relationship within these walls. All 4.5 years of laughter, fights, growth, fun, and practicing making you! And now we are leaving it behind. Clearing it out for the next couple or family. While we move into a house, the house you may take your first steps in, have your first bath in. And then one day we will have to leave it as well. But that's life, military life. Bittersweet is definitely the best way to sum it up. We should be in the new house in the next couple of weeks. It's tough packing and then heading to Charleston for school four days a week. With all the morning sickness and nausea especially. This appointment made it all worth the struggle and reminded me of why I'm working so hard.
I got like fifteen pics of you from this appointment and sent them all to my Mom and she replied "ahhh! That's my granbaby! she's so beautiful!" her and Meme keep saying your gonna be a girl, I still feel like you're a boy though. I'm tempted to wait and find out after your born. But Daddy said NO lol. I think he is ready to start picking out names which will be easier when we know what you are and have a direction to go in. I can't wait to see your Daddy and show him the pics, I called him right after the appointment and after I told him how well it went he sounded bummed he missed it, but he said "I'm happy for you that you got to experience it, that's what matters." I think he knew I needed that. It was a stress reliever for sure.
Being a full time student in a city two hours away from home, while also packing an entire overfilled apartment, and being sick is hard work. But I'm handling it the best I can, for you, and for all of our futures. I don't wanna quit school, like I've said before i want you to come into a world with an educated Momma. And I also wanna make my own Momma, and Husband proud as me and you walk across that stage in June and get that degree we've worked so hard for.
I love you baby, and I always will do my very best for you - for all of us.
XOXOXOXOXOXO - Momma
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| 13 weeks, out of first trimester! |
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