Pomp and Circumstance

First day of college.

February 2011.

Hello there my sweet lil boogerhead,

     Well we're in the homestretch my love, you'll be here soon! It is incredible how the time has flown and yet how it has also seemed to have gone in slow motion. We have done a lot together the past few months at school, and now we just have one week until we waddle across that stage together and get Mommy's diploma. Exactly one week from today, wow.  As that day gets closer and closer, I can't help but to think back to the beginning, and why I started school in the first place. I don't believe I've discussed this on here yet, but I want you to know everything from the beginning. And how important this day is in our lives.

You see, we found out that your Grandma Tara, my Mom, was very very sick in November of 2010, with a rare form of cancer that the doctors knew little to nothing about how to treat. It was one of the most difficult things I've ever went through in my life.

She had surgery to remove what they thought was a benign tumor in her spinal cord, and we all went to Florida to be with her. We waited outside in the waiting room for a lot less time than we had anticipated when the doctors came out and pulled us (the family) into a private room. They told us that when they went to remove the tumor it was an unusual color, black, which is common of cancer. So they did a biopsy and would know the results the next morning. Needless to say, that night consisted of a lot of crying, sadness, worrying, and of course praying. As me and your Daddy drove to the hospital the next morning, I turned to him in the car and said "if they say something crazy, like she only has a year to live, we are going to have a baby" then he surprised me with his reaction and said "I know babe, I already thought of it too."

Once we arrived, apparently the Doctors had already came in with the bad news, so I kicked everyone out of Mom's room and we laid on her bed together, crying, absorbing it all- just me and her. When I finally collected myself much much later, I asked her what she thought of me and your Father having her a grandbaby. Her face lit up, and I could tell she wanted it, wanted you. But then she (being the incredible sacrificing and loving Mother that she is) told me "no." She knew that me and your Daddy had planned on being married or together for at least 5 years and it just being the two of us for a while before we wanted to bring a little one into the picture. As much as she wanted a grandbaby, she wanted me to have you when I was ready.

(This is where school came into the picture)

Your Grandma had been asking me for years when I was planning on starting college (aka harassing me ;) So I finally gave in to her wishes, no grandbabies yet, but I could give her this, I could go to college.

It took me a little while to decide where to go, and what to do, but The Art Institute kept coming up over and over again. I prayed about it a lot and all the signs were pointing towards that school. The next open house was just a couple weeks away, and I was super motivated, more motivated for it than I've ever been for any one thing in my entire life. It was two hours away from home, and I knew I'd be on the road a lot, but nothing could stop me- my mind was made. I was gonna do this, and do it well. And I did.. 4.0 GPA taking 20+ credit hours every quarter (which is a lot). 

I was doing it for my Mom, for me and your Dad, and in preparation for you. 

In a way, you were the motivation for this since the beginning, before you were ever conceived. 

The day we found out about you, and the date you were due, it was as if God had planned this all along, for me to be waddling across that stage while pregnant with my Mom's first grandbaby, graduating college, and guess what!! -it's been almost 5 years since me and your Daddy started dating :)

Everything has lined up perfectly for you to come into this world my dear. You're our blessing, the biggest blessing anyone could never dream of, and we all can't wait to meet you ❤

I pray that I'll be even half of the wonderful mother to you that my Mom has been to me.

And I can't wait for next Sunday, and to see the look on your Grandma Tara's face. 

I hope I'm making her, you, and Daddy all very proud. 

"A moment in my tummy... a lifetime in my heart."