Bama. Baby Shower 2.

In the weeks leading up to our trip, we did a lot together to prepare for your arrival. On June 29th we headed to Bama to celebrate the 4th of July and also have our family baby shower. We spent the first half of the week at Grandma Tara's house, I spent most of that time working on the cake for the baby shower and Daddy helped your Uncle Brad build a fence. Your Grandma Tara seriously went all out on the baby shower for you, it was pirate themed and she made it incredible! I didn't expect it to be as planned out, gorgeous, and fun as it was. The day before the baby shower was July 4th and we spent the day with your Daddy's side of the family. This is an annual thing his family does, sort of a family reunion/ July 4th/ MeMaws birthday celebration- and it's always a blast! We do a lot of sitting outside and talking, good eatin, and of course swimming in the pool! It was so crazy to think that next year you'll be there with us, with all your girl cousins probably trying to pin you down and put makeup on you, and you swimming in the pool with some lil water wings on (I can't wait!). The next day was the baby shower. I spent all morning finishing up the cake while your Grandma, Meme, and aunts worked together to make all the food and set everything up. Your Daddy went on a fishing trip with all the men in the family while us women had the shower. We played lots of games, ate some yummy food and cake, and got lots and lots of presents for you! Everyone's generosity was amazing, and I hope they all had as much fun as I did!

We (the family) spent a lot of time afterwards discussing names for you, I don't think I've mentioned on here yet but we had narrowed it down to three first names (your middle name will be Ryan... We agreed on that from the beginning) but the first name has been difficult to choose... The three we both like are: Kenneth, Thomas, and Spencer.. and after our trip to Bama we put Mark back on the table (can't remember why we took it off actually). People look at us funny when we say we haven't agreed on a name yet, but it's a big deal! And it's tough to choose before even technically meeting you. There is a lot to consider.. Like will your name fit you, what nicknames will you be called, how many people your age will have the same name, will you end up with silly initials, what's the background of the name, will it be mispronounced or misspelled a lot (Lord knows "VanOrmer" will be). I want you to love the name you get, and not want to change it or go by something different. We've decided to wait until your birth to pick one of the four, although I have a feeling I know which it will be.

I can't wait to bring you back with us to Alabama after you're born, if I had it my way you'd be born there. I was born and raised there and your Dad moved there when he was 12, it will always be home to me. I hate to think you may not grow up knowing the importance of breaking out in song and dance every time you hear the beginning of the song "Sweet Home Alabama" play no matter where you are at the time. And knowing that you may be a Clemson or Gamecock fan instead of an Alabama or Auburn fan (Alabama preferably). Most importantly though, I hate knowing that you won't grow up as close to your family as I was able to. I had loads of cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles around me from birth, for the most part everyone lived in the same county. Unfortunately, we now live at least 5 hours from your nearest relative, and no matter how many trips they or we take, there is just no way for you to have the closeness with them that I wish you could have. But since we are a military family, we must go wherever Uncle Sam decides to stick us, right now being Sumter SC (*sticks tongue out*). Who knows, we might just get very lucky and get stationed in Alabama or Florida next. And not that it's a replacement, but we are fortunate to have a pretty tight military family around here, and I'm sure we will develop one at our next location as well. Most of them are actually having babies right now also, so hopefully you'll be close with them and have some good lil buddies to play with.

Speaking of our military life... there is something I have yet to mentioned on here, I haven't felt quite ready to talk about it yet, until now. It is a tough subject that I am still processing. The week before my finals at school (back in June), I came home from Charleston and your Dad asked me if I wanted the good news or the bad news first, I picked bad. Turns out that about 3 days prior (while I was still in Charleston) your Dad got the news at work that he is going to be stationed in Korea for one year unaccompanied and leaves in February (you'll be about 6 months old). Before he said it, I had a feeling thats what it was, he's been in for several years and has been lucky not to have gone yet. From the day we found out I was pregnant, this has been his biggest fear, he even briefly considered getting out of the military or going guard because of how badly he doesn't want to miss anything. I told him my opinions, and let him decide for himself, and made sure he knew I'd support whatever decision he made. Obviously, he decided to stay in, and then we get this news 7 months later. As soon as the word "Korea" burst from his lips, my heart sank to my toes, to say I was utterly devastated would be an understatement. I was sad on every level I could be, and to my surprise, I was actually more sad for him than for myself. All the first he's going to miss, breaks my heart. I just kept saying over and over "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, this just sucks, man this sucks, I'm so sorry." I'm sad for you as well, but to make it easier to deal with I have to keep reminding myself that you probably won't remember that period of time anyways once you've grown. It also makes me feel better having sorta gone through this before when your Dad was in Iraq for 4 months last year. He called/video chatted with me every day from there, even if he had to walk to the opposite end of the base some days to make the call, so I know we'll definitely get to talk to him when he's in Korea. I'll probably even set you up in front of the laptop and just let you two have alone time together. I may sound optimistic now, but when he first told me I cried every tear in my pregnant body out, I'm surprised I didn't get dehydrated! And he just held me while I cried, as we both said and agreed that "this just plain sucks." Once I finally calmed a little (what seemed like 3hours later) you're Daddy said "Okay, are you ready for the good news?!" And I, secretly hoping that was all just a cruel joke, said "yes, please!" He then walked into the kitchen, and came back in the living room holding a massive Edible Arrangement with a big box of chocolate covered strawberries and a huge heart shaped balloon that said "I love you!" It didn't make me any less sad, but it definitely got a big and much needed laugh out of me. And I definitely appreciated the effort. He's always brought me flowers, but I suppose this occasion required something different. He told me later that he had went into the store and said "I need something to give my pregnant wife after I tell her I'm going to Korea for a year" and then proceeded to buy the biggest arrangement they sell.
We sat and ate it together, not that I could taste much with my head full of gunk from all the crying, and as we picked it apart, we both started trying to see the positives of the situation. We realized that he would still be here for your birth, first Halloween, first Thanksgiving, first Christmas and New Years, and his mid-tour would be on your 1st birthday, and that we may get stationed in Alabama or Florida afterwards. So as far as crappy timing goes, it's not the absolute worst. And that's been our mindset since, being as optimistic about the crappy hand we've been dealt as possible. Most days I don't even think about it, no point in dwelling on something we can't change. We'll just do our best, like we always have. And I'm sure we'll get through it, we love each other too much not to. It's scary and sucks but I know we can do it, and we'll come out as a stronger couple and stronger parents to you for having done so.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.